Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Who Likes To Win? Raise Your Hand!: The Remix

Well, as I wrote last Monday, The Kid started soccer and his coach is, well, um, a little...hyper. So practice was again yesterday, and the kids weren't on the field two minutes before the coach asked for a show of hands revealing those who like to win vs. those who like to lose.

Okay, we get it! You LOVE winning. And your number one coaching goal is to take our 4 and 5 year old children and turn them into lean, mean, winning soccer machines. You dream of us taking our kids home and speaking of nothing but the importance of winning--how great it is; how important it is; how good it feels. All right, already!

Poor guy. It's very comical, actually, as these kids can barely run without falling, tripping (themselves and each other), and talking the whole time. I think this coach might have been better suited to teach older kids who actually understand the fundamentals of the game, and can actually, um, play. Perhaps this would have helped lead him to his ultimate goal of coaching a winning team.

My other favorite "coach" moment from yesterday came from listening to him while he was running a lap with the kids. He yelled out, completely serious, "Come on! Let's go, let's go. If you have the energy to talk, you have the energy to run!" It totally reminded me of the moment from the movie, Reality Bites. You know the part where LeLaina Pierce (Winona Ryder) was being interviewed by the Manager, (David Spade) at the fast-food place? And he said, "If you've got time to lean, you've got time to clean" to an employee as they walked past him during her "tour." 

Yes, it was that ridiculous. Not to mention hilarious.

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