Monday, September 1, 2008

Free Running (in my mind)

I learned about free running several years ago while mindlessly flipping through channels, watching TV. I stumbled onto a documentary (not sure which one anymore) about it and was instantly blown away (if you search You Tube you can find plenty of free running videos to check out). I hurried to find a blank video and was able to record most of the documentary. Shortly after, years ago, I invited some movement-loving-friends over to watch the video, and that's the last time that I've seen it. Since then, between all the moves we've made, I've lost track of it. Yet, for some reason this morning, I woke up with free running on my mind.

Maybe it's because my weekend has been spent watching Aqua Man unpack a good amount of boxes that I haven't been able to get to since I injured my knee. Boxes that hold lots of memories; pictures, videos, movies. Maybe this video is somewhere in there? I've watched box after box be moved as I sit, still icing and elevating my knee. Pretty frustrating at times. I was, however, actually able to go outside yesterday for a short stint while wearing a (giant)leg brace from the doc (Aqua Man decided to call me "Lieutenant Dan" because I was crutching around so much. Perhaps, also, because I was swearing and cursing just as much? The upshot? That left Aqua Man to be cast as "Forest Gump" in his own drama. Frankly, I'd rather be Lieutenant Dan on his worst day, than Gump on his best:). Anyway, I crutched around the yard, watered a patch of flowers, and even pulled a few weeds while sitting in a chair. It didn't last long but it was still an accomplishment that I took as a good sign. Especially since this was the first time I've been able to wear that leg brace and find relief from it rather than more pain.

Tomorrow I have an appointment to meet with the Orthopedic doctor to get the results from my MRI. I've been playing a vision in my mind that he tells me everything looks good, that there is no damage other than a sprain, that healing is already happening, and that with time and, perhaps, physical therapy I will be fine. I'm assuming this is what will come of it. In part, because I'm trying to stay positive and only call in thoughts of healing. In part, honestly, because I just can't begin to prepare myself for another scenario; I'm too afraid. These past two weeks I've already had to put many, many things on hold because of my new reality. And it doesn't just affect me; it affects every one in this house. Occasionally, my mind will wander to my fears and I quickly imagine scenarios that scare the shit out of me. I will not write about them here because I don't want to fuel my fears. So instead, I choose to challenge my perspective.

Free running and free runners view the urban and rural terrain as their landscape to interact with and co-create a fluid path. There is no "perfect" path; rather a sustained momentum in which one keeps on moving and interacting with the other objects in relation to its path. What might normally be viewed as an insurmountable obstacle, or object to go around, over, under, or to be avoided all together, free runners view these very things as a way to gather momentum, energy and inspiration for their flowing movements.

The first time I saw the documentary on free runners a seed was planted. I wanted to be like them--um, okay, don't get me wrong. I know that I will NEVER, EVER be capable of engaging in the simplest of free running activities! But, why, years later, did I wake up with free running on my mind? Perhaps, in the face of the unknown, my subconscious kicked this philosophy to the forefront of my mind? However it came to my attention, I'll take this as an opportunity to explore the philosophy. To free run in my mind.

I wonder what would happen if I mentally free run? What opportunities might arise? What exciting new path might I take because of the "obstacle" of my knee? Can I approach hurting my knee as a source of new possibilities rather than a block? What adventures are still unexplored for me? In general, how would my life be different if I consistently viewed "obstacles" in my life instead as sources of inspiration and possibilities? How would I move, act, feel, be?

How about you?

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